moving forward

it's been awhile since we've written here and much has happened. yesterday, we came to an agreement on a farm in jutland. we wouldn't have imagined when we first began to dream of a farm that it would be in jutland, but sometimes things happen and life takes you in another direction, one that you didn't foresee.

a number of the things we wanted in the beginning have gone by the wayside...we found out that it's really difficult to find someone to share a large farm with, so many of our ideas of shared living had to be abandoned in the face of the reality of the way modern families think. but we remain steadfast in our desire for a place where we can have a large garden, fruit trees, a place to make cider, space for a little gårdbutik and room for a horse. a place where we can live more sustainably.

last friday, we converged on a farm property with what must have seemed like all guns blazing to the poor lady who lived there. she was walking around the yard with her baby buggy, trying to get the baby to sleep when car after car pulled up and out came an architect, two carpenters, a 9-year-old with plans for a bunny hutch, a husband with a notebook full of sketches and a crazy lady in an orange coat who had a lot of opinions about how ceilings needed to be raised and floors lowered and kitchens ripped out. it must have seemed like an overwhelming show of force.

the view from the front - check out all those cars!

we proceeded to crawl around in every cobwebby attic, sending our favorite of the polish carpenters through a crawl space to check out the beams. he did crawl back out, so it was ok. we knocked on walls and cast critical glances at ceilings and roofs. 

the view from the back.

we debated where the sun would be when (since it wasn't obliging us by showing itself) and contemplated whether it would be possible to move it. we donned blue shoe protectors and traipsed through the inside, discussing the possibilities all the way. 

our lake.

we walked down to the lake. because yes, there is a lake that belongs to the property. or at least 1/3 of it does. and no one else who owns property down to the lake lives near it, so we'll pretty much have it to ourselves. and since it's at the far end of the 17 acres, it's far enough away that we hope mosquitoes won't be a problem, not that they're much of a problem in denmark anyway.

there are two old boats down by the lake.

the house was built in 1895 and the only thing in it that's halfway decent today is a relatively new furnace and a relatively new bathroom. the rest has to go and actually, the bathroom will eventually go as well. the first order of business will be a new roof. while we're at it, we'll raise it a bit and make the second floor of the main house usable, since it's never been used. otherwise, the 5 (or 10?)-year plan is to basically gut the house entirely, move the kitchen, raise the ceilings to roof-height in what is today their main living space (the "wing" on the right in the first picture above), build that second floor in the middle section, add two bathrooms. then, on the left-hand "wing," the entire upstairs will be my new blue room - 100m2 of space for creativity. downstairs, a 30m2 space for a shop and the other 70m2 devoted to furnace room and husband's workshop. 

husband spent the weekend sketching gardens and outbuildings, so we've got plans that should carry us easily through the next ten years without a single moment of boredom. and, with a may 1 move-in date, we'll even be able to plant a garden this year!

shifting thoughts

we've been discussing this notion of buying a farm with large enough buildings for several families every chance we get over the past week or so. imagining this or that aspect of it. talking about details of everything from how to construct it (should it be a company or what's called an andel in danish or something else?) to how it would work in practical everyday terms.

one of the things we envision is that although the buildings would support three, maybe four families living in separately, we would have one big kitchen that would be shared by all. because part of the whole idea is to get away from the notion that we need so much stuff. if we shared a big kitchen and passed around the cooking duties on a rotating basis, we'd make the burden lighter on ourselves and on the environment.

in discussing all of this, i've found myself thinking about how thinking shifts incrementally. the transition for being a single family in a single family dwelling to living together with several other families and sharing at least parts of the dwelling will be a big one. and how can we mentally make the leap--because that's what it will take to make the leap in actuality, right?

so i thought about the things i'm right now, at this very minute, willing to change:

1. sharing the cooking duties. i find it difficult to be inspired to cook for three at times and think i would enjoy more cooking for a larger group, so i look forward to when it's "my" turn to do the cooking.
2. sharing a car. i only find that i need the car a couple of times a week anyway, so i'm totally ready to be in a situation with a shared car. and as part of this, i'm completely cool with letting someone else decide what kind of car and all that jazz. 
3. having a big kitchen garden and truly embracing eating more locally. eating and enjoying what's in season when it's in season appeals. big time.

these are the things that are a bit harder to imagine changing:

1. what if the others don't take care when they're using "my" beloved kitchen-aid appliances?
2. do i really want to share my starbucks mug collection and my favorite red plates with everyone? on the other hand, do i want to hide them away and NOT use them on an everyday basis just because i'm unwilling to share?
3. what if someone objects to the colors of paint i like and the decorating style i would choose (what if they want everything white!!??)

and these are the things i'm really struggling with:

1. giving up my beautiful blue room. it's my sanctuary. it's where i'm creative. it's perfect (to me) in every way. will i have a similar space to call my own? is it too selfish to think you need your own space?
2. i don't want to live without a bathtub again....7 years was enough.
3. i love having a job where i travel, but is that actually something i can defend in light of what we now know about global warming? i will miss jetting across the world. a lot.
4. what if we don't find the right people--people we can share this living situation with and who we can be friends with and feel comfortable with long term? and how will we know that they're that when we commit to entering into the project together?
5. i'm really not ready to leave this house yet. i've got a lot of mental shifting work do there. but hopefully it's already begun and by the time it happens (perhaps a year from now), i'll be ready.

if you're already in the midst of such a project, we'd love to hear from you and what your thoughts and fears were before you entered into it and how you dealt with those.